heyheyheyitstheiceking

Ask me stuff and things   submit ANYTHING   edward. 20, California.
GUESS WHOS SINGLE AGAIN FUCK YEAH (SARCASAM).. btw
disclaimer: i'm not saying that any of these photos were taken by, or owned by me.

My visit to get screened for cancer:

Nurse:"Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me:"He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse:"So he's your...."
Me:"Friend."
Nurse:(During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Me:"11."
Nurse:"How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me:"....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse:"You're sexually active, then."
Me:"Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse:"How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me:"Uh. 0."
Nurse:"O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me:"I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse:"Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me:"With homosexuality."
Nurse:
Me:
Nurse:
Me:"I fuck girls."
— 21 hours ago with 533176 notes

agirlnamedagnes:

This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.

We don’t have kids.

We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.

(via wephantomfigures)

— 23 hours ago with 53878 notes
rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

Boreddddddd

wife

Ily, will you actually be my wife?!?!

duh!!!!

Yusssssssss 😭😭😭😍😍😍😍😍

rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

Boreddddddd

wife

Ily, will you actually be my wife?!?!

duh!!!!

Yusssssssss 😭😭😭😍😍😍😍😍

(via socutegirls)

— 1 day ago with 256 notes
rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

Strawberry fanta, red tongueeeee


wife

Babe πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

rain-boii:

m0rphlne:

rain-boii:

Strawberry fanta, red tongueeeee

wife

Babe πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

(via socutegirls)

— 1 day ago with 191 notes

saeqimo:

mechinism:

brothasoul:

can we all just take a minute to imagine steve rogers’ face the first time he heard someone say β€œmotherfucker” casually

image

This gets me every time

Thor’s pop-tart and Steve’s face omg

(Source: presidentbear, via ashleyament)

— 3 days ago with 218212 notes